struggling

In my current state of questioning life, and trying to   find myself   if you will, i've developed a (probably unwarranted) hatred for the saying, or quote, i've heard all my life. We're all familiar with it:

 "just be yourself" 

I think that's an incredibly misleading phrase. What the fuck do you mean, just be myself? Isn't that exactly what i am? Myself. Its not hard to be your self. You do what your brain wants to do. Its rather simple. 

I strongly believe one is not purely a self with "pre-destined" life planned out in black and white. 

One must mold themselves. 

There is not a single self you can possibly be. 

Your self will move to towns you never imagined if you let go of your fears. 

Your self will feel indescribable feelings towards others, embrace them.

Your self will make so many god-damned mistakes, you'll wish you were born a fish.

Hang in there - Your self is being made.

Your self will cry and cry and cry & wonder when it will stop - its part of the process.

Your self will wonder who you are. Dont, please - you're always being molded.

Your self will think and rethink every decision you make, don't regret any. just move on.

Your self will be alone - because you are you, and you have to face you, alone.

i write this with many people in mind. sometimes its impossible to understand and feel the love that people have for you. the recent suicides are still lingering in my mind, and will be for a long time. i feel very close to those who have committed suicide for simply feeling alone. its very easy for our brains to wander close to the edge when you feel you've got nothing left -or even if you feel you don't understand. nobody understands. and i can honestly tell all of you that. 

why am i here? there are billions of answers out there, if you want to go looking. 

what are my goals supposed to be? you know what? don't have goals - if you don't want goals. if you want to become something rad, then by god - there is nothing stopping you. you can become any god damned thing you want to be. You can become president.

sometimes your life is comfortable & questionable - dont be afraid to flip your world upside-down, and see what the other side brings.

(I feel a little better now. Thank you for listening. I hope you gained something from it. I hope I did too.)