i've got no where else to go

"if i get it all down on paper

its no longer inside of me

threatening the life it belongs to"

is it wrong to despise living?

maybe its not the simple task of living, but more so of growing up.

john mayer is currently telling me the heart of life is good

i believe that, or at least i try.

sadness is something that is very difficult to push away

i have always seen myself as a happy, bubbly person. 

lately i can't stop thinking. thinking thinking thinking.

you could call it the "greener grass syndrome."

what if the choices i made weren't the choices i wanted to make

i do my best to not think about the past

but, for me its become impossible

was i happier in st george?

living with my two best of friends

maybe?

however, all i thought was the urge i had to escape

check.

i ran away to portland

began a brand new life

i wiped my slate clean and skated my life away

i loved portland, but i loved my best friend [at the time] more.

she needed to move to bend for safety issues 

i moved to bend with her

i did not like living in bend - per say

but, i had an amazing job that allowed me to travel to places

i would never have been able to see

i adored that

my parents were kind enough to spot me the cash

to get through my time in bend and make it back to salt lake

i've been in salt lake for about three years now (i think)

and its not my home

i'm trapped in my own state

i'm trapped in my own state of mind

circles circles circles

i'm back to thinking about nothing other than escape

i want to run away

i want to run away so bad

i want to run run run and never stop running

i don't want to know where i'll end up

i don't care

please, take me away